Tuesday, January 3, 2012

If you want me to.....

Can't shake this exhaustion, achy, overwhelmed feeling. J-Term class starts this weekend and received threatening email from Professor saying if we miss any part of any class...no credit for the course and drop now because there is a long waiting list. Really Lady?? Because I can really control when I might be having trouble getting out of bed (e.g., took me 2.5 hours to get ready and get out of the house this morning- was overdue for enbrel due to flu), in pain, sick, etc...SARCASM SIGN. Really, I just want normal, everyday things like washing my hair, cleaning, laundry, etc., to NOT be so hard for once because I don't sacrifice work, housework, or washing my hair, what is sacrificed almost every time is fun.

Part of me wanted to drop the class after receiving email and part of me thought NO...I am going to do it just to prove to myself I can,assume she is a reasonable person outside of threatening email, take a deep breath, and try to not worry about it. I have to admit part of my determination is a need to be FINISHED with Grad School...almost 4 years in the making so not only am I battling "Senior Slide" but I started pre-RA/marriage/etc..

So on top of working full time Monday-Friday, will be in class every Friday night and all day Saturday. Blog frequency may diminish after this weekend...

As I was processing all of this earlier this afternoon trying to figure out what, if anything, could give for the month, this song came on the radio....once again...LOVE KTIS...and I was reminded that God will help me through...

If you want me to by Ginny Owens
Lyrics from Sing365.com

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to

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